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Argentina Confirms Hundreds Of Demons Hid Out In Nation For Years After War Between Heaven And Hell


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BUENOS AIRES—In a remark expressing deep contrition for its position in harboring the infernal criminals, the federal government of Argentina showed Thursday that masses of demons concealed out within the country for many years after the Great War Between Heaven and Hell. “Today, we apologize for our nation’s unforgivable choice to provide safe haven to these contemptible devils and hobgoblins in the wake of the final conflict between Lucifer and Our Lord,” mentioned President Alberto Fernández, condemning particularly the verdict of many Argentines to open their properties to near collaborators in Satan’s nefarious regime, amongst them Belial, Moloch, Baal, and Thammuz. “When no other country would accept these malignant fiends, we gave them safe passage, ignoring their horrendous crimes in return for payments in blessed chalices, divine vessels, and other heavenly artifacts plundered from cherubim and seraphim. In fact, many Argentine women chose to intermarry with the demons, causing countless children of that era to become eternally damned hellspawn.” Fernández added that Argentina was hoping to atone for their crimes via extraditing a 930-year-old demon to the Kingdom of Heaven to go through trial for crimes towards divinity.



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