WASHINGTON—With eyes bloodshot and swimsuit raveled as he entered his sixteenth hour on the podium, President Joe Biden is now simply turning in a continuing, up to date speech mourning sufferers of mass shootings around the United States, resources reported Friday. “At this hour, we gather to mourn the carnage in—actually, I’m getting word there have been two more shootings,” stated Biden, who for the reason that earlier night were making an attempt to finish his remarks and go away the degree, however in each and every case were ushered again to the microphones when aides knowledgeable him of extra shootings that had simply taken position. “I’ll fall behind and never catch up if I try to name everyone shot and killed, so I’ll start with a blanket condolences to all the Jims, Elizabeths, Pauls, and Lauras who have been gunned down mercilessly and before their time. Even one gun death is unconscionable, but 15? No wait, 17. You’re telling me the death toll is 21 now, really? Jesus Christ.” At press time, the scoop convention had in spite of everything ended because of the specter of an energetic shooter within the target market.